Friendship

To me friendships mean the world, I haven't had the best at keeping friendships keeping alive. I am either to honest or wondering why does everyone leave. The everyone leaving facade started when my mom passed away when I was 17 years old. Sadly it started a whole sterotype of everyone leaves, and its true everyone leaves.

I have had this best friend (well now ex I guess) for over 20 years, I know we are old haha, since 9th grade. I can't believe its been that long. Well I made a comment to her the other day, because well as a best friend I was worried about her and if I was in her shoes I would expect her to do the same thing (but the way things ended it looks like she wouldn't). But she just ended up ending our friendship over stuff that one happened months ago way before Christmas which dumbfounded me. And then something else which to me I think if your going to vent to me tell me just listen to me I don't need advice just vent to me.. Yes she was there for me when my other best friend died. Yes she was there for me when my world came crashing down years ago. She threw that in my face today. But what she doesn't remember I guess is that I was there for her thru everything, all the bad things that I am guessing she is forgetting that happened to her, even when she lied to me that it happened to her. She made my ptsd with my domestic violence get worse but I was still there for her because she was my best friend, I was there for her when falling out with her family, falling out with her loved ones. When I needed someone to talk to but I called and she was having a down day I was there for her instead of talking to her about what is going on with me. I have health issues and instead of doing everything i need to do, I dropped everything to be there for her when she needed me to do. I sacraficed a lot to be her friend. But I find out our friendship meant so little to her that she ended it. Yes I am not perfect, yes I told her that I think her boyfriend needed to get a job so all the bills and crap wasn't just on her so she can go spoil herself like she deserved but she didn't like that. Don't complain about it then if it bothers you so much. I am sorry that you thought I wasn't a good enough friend for you to lie to you to be honest with you, I am not going to lie to you I care to much about you instead of lying, I am sorry that you think that I am petty enough to think you left my friendship over my daughter, instead I asked you a question about her since you work with drs and nurses and thought you would be a friend and since she is your god daughter you would ask them for me instead you didn't. You just assumed stuff. By the way I am not that petty. Get over yourself on that one. I am sorry that you think it is okay that your mom can say something about our disabled children but I say something about your daughters well being cuz I don't want the same thing for her before Christmas time which isn't bad but wait you agreed with me cuz your boyfriend refuses to do anything. But yet its okay for your mom to say something about our disabled children. And don't lie you told me about it. You saw the email I sent her about it. I am sorry that you think its okay to end a friendship over me being worried what your boyfriend told me personally but yet he is lying about it. You know I have nothing to lie about I would not lie to you. I am sorry that you think that throwing away everything is worth it. What I am not sorry about is this I am not sorry about worrying about your well being when your life according to you was in dangered. I am not sorry for caring about someone who I thought of as a sister. I am not sorry that I was there for you when you needed me the most but when I needed you the most you threw me away like yesterdays garbage. See you see people aren't perfect in every relationship that includes friendship you weren't perfect either. I remember everything you have said to me that hurt, and I just swept it under the rug I never once said you know I am just going to end our friendship.. The difference between us I actually care to keep fighting for it, I was a fool for trying to hard, I should have listened to people when they told me why to keep on trying, when it was only a one sided friendship. I didn't want to believe them... Thank you for showing me everything. I truly hope you have a wonderful life. I truly hope that things get better for you (you know what I mean).. I'll miss our friendship, i'll miss your kids, our late night chats, our plans with our visits, just everything. We were more then friends we were family and sisters. At least I thought. Goodbye to 20 years.