Bargaining (2nd stage of grief)

I never thought I would ever bargain with God about anything. I was a very religious person back then and when I was in my deepest part of grieving I kept asking God or well trying to bargain with him on trying to bring her back.

I would ask him to take me instead because my brother was younger he needed a mom.

I would say I would be good, no more of the shenanigans that I would always do that would drive my mom nuts if only he could bring her back.

I would do anything to just listen to her voice one more time or even hear her scream at me one more time. ( I never thought I would say that in my life ).

I just wanted one more day, one more month, one more year. But nothing in my bargaining was working with God. Even offering to make sure to go to church every Sunday was even going unnoticed. I just didn't understand why I couldn't hear her one more time. I was in this stage for about a month or two for me to realize that bargaining with God to help me hear her one more time or even hug her one more time wasn't going to work. It made me so angry.