Family!!

Family has always been an important part of my life. Losing my mom as a teen, made me realize that I only get one set of parents and I need to make the best of it. My dad and my mom (step) I never always got along with them. I had a lot of anger towards my dad. I used it against them and it wasn't fair to them. I just was mad that my dad didn't save me, from all the pain and the hurt that I endured as a child from my mom and her second husband, or he didn't save me when my mom was so angry with me all the time that she didn't care what she said hurt me, or when the time I was inappropriately touched and all my mom could say is "Sara its okay for him to do it, he is special needs." Which by the way is never okay for someone to do. He just wasn't there. I thought he didn't love me anymore or he didn't want me because of me not being a good child because all my mom could tell people was what we did wrong never what we did right. But that was never the case.

I went to visit my dad and mom last year in February, That gave us time to talk and them time to visit their granddaughter and I get to see my little brother. While the kids were playing on the play station we all sat down and talked and I told my dad why I was so angry and how I felt. I never thought I would hear the words coming from their months but everything that I was feeling and wondering back then and then too I had it all wrong. My dad did want me and my brother our mom just wouldn't give us up. He kept asking my mom for custody of us and our mom kept saying no. So I found out my dad was trying to get us away from the situations that we have had to endure but my mom didn't want us to go with him. That day I realized that I need to stop being angry at the wrong person. Family fight, show me a family that doesn't fight. I have felt so lonely in my life being angry at them and just in my self petty, that I realize that I shouldn't be mad anymore and put my pride aside and start living the best life I can live with my parents. Yes they aren't going to agree with some things with me and are going to give me their opinion, but they know who I am I will either take it or leave it.

My parents are not getting any younger, I realized I didn't want it to be to late before I tried to renew my relationship with them that it needed to be done before it got to late. Moral of this is that families always fight but never ever should quit talking because we are never promised tomorrow and I did not want to live the rest of my life with regret with all the what ifs, the I should haves.